T.M. Hanson

March has been a much busier month, with long walks, sociable lunches, volunteering, and returning to the gym. I’ve read a fair amount but I haven’t had the time or energy to watch films. Instead, I’ve been taken with the smell of spring air, being present with my body and the people around me, and working on my creative practice. March has sped by but it’s been enjoyable. I’m also regaining my energy as I continue to recover from chronic fatigue, which feels amazing. It’s given me some time to work on personal essays, as well as potential essays for this blog.

Two of the main essays I’m working on right now are: a four-part series on the cancellation of American Born Chinese and how this relates to the reception of Asian-led media in the West, and a discussion around the history of occult literature, as well as how this connects to the worldbuilding of Harkness’ All Souls. In the meantime, I’ve enjoyed having the capacity to actually do things and engage with others. This time last year, I was bed-bound/house-bound, so to be able to do what I’m doing now feels wonderful.

What I’ve Been Reading

I’ve been intensely present with the books I’m reading this month and I’ve liked them all! I’m currently reading Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? and The Iliad, the reserve on my reading challenge, but I haven’t finished it in time for the end of the month. However, I’m halfway through and I can’t wait to share my thoughts!

Shadows of the Workhouse by Jennifer Worth

This was one of the memoirs that I felt called to read in February. I forgot how immersive Worth’s writing can be and how her work takes you through a range of emotions, simply by discussing the realities of East End life – the horror of the workhouse in the 19^th and 20^th Century; the torture and punishment children underwent and how they carried this trauma with them for the rest of their lives; military life during the late Victorian Era; and the depraved conditions in which working class people were expected to live. There is so much suffering, humanity, community, and resilience packed into one book. Post-war memoirs about nursing wouldn’t be my usual go-to but Worth’s books reveal how much you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. I didn’t realise there were two more books in this series and I’d be more than willing to read the rest.

A History of Tom Jones, A Foundling by Henry Fielding

Hilarious, immersive, and theatrical, this novel was a delight to read. At one point, this book even made me scream a little. The drama was insane and delicious; it made me laugh out loud multiple times. The romance was believable, considering the rakish quality of Tom himself. His love for women borders on the comic rather than the aggravating, although it could easily have gone the other way, leaving the romance feeling too implausible. Yet, the book maintains an air of absurdity that aids disbelief. I enjoyed the presentation of extremes, particularly from a religious and philosophical perspective, and the commentary on morality. The second half felt a little prolonged at times, particularly during the roadway and inn scenes – these sections should have been shorter in my opinion. Even so, this is a book I will be returning to. Not very often, due to the length, but I look forward to revisiting it in the future.

Cold Enough for Snow by Jessica Au

After reading this book, my immediate thought was: my mom needs to read this. An insane thought, considering the content but I believed she might feel equally seen – the tenderness and the emotional distance between the narrator and her mother, the small ways in which they try to please one another, and the questions surrounding generational and cultural divides felt deeply personal. It was like the words traced my own thoughts, covering the habits that we inherit from our parents, the multicultural disconnect between us and the generations that came before us, the ways in which my mother and grandmother were raised in a different country with a different language, a language that I can’t speak or understand, and the small moments when my mother thinks of everyone else before herself. The prose was dreamlike; the last pages, especially, deeply resonated with me. This is a gorgeous book and I will be pondering its words for a long time.

Tiny Moons: A Year of Eating in Shanghai by Nina Mingya Powles

This book made me hungry, first and foremost. The food diaries are a wonderful exploration of how we learn to belong, how we root ourselves, through our enjoyment of food, as well as how this specifically bridges the cultural divide. Food can be a familial and cultural anchor when all else fails, something I have experienced for myself. These essays captured the love and nostalgia that comes from food, the memories we make from it – new and old, how it invites us to return us to ourselves but how it also helps us to evolve, and the strong connections it evokes to family. Tiny Moons made me miss Malaysia and Singapore – the noises, the heat, the food, the views. In a place where you may feel disconnected or unrooted, food is a point of connection; it brings comfort. Nina Mingya Powles understands this and I thank her for sharing her experiences.

A Philosophy of Walking by Frédéric Gros

Walking has always been my preferred mode of exercise – it’s a chance not only to be active but to be present in nature, to meditate, and to socialise. Recently, I have been urging myself to walk more consistently as I recover from fatigue. So, to read this book now was an absolute delight. Gros reiterates my own thoughts on walking – what makes it a joy, a refuge, a point of connection – but he also brings new perspectives that have encouraged me to think deeper about my walking practice. The alignment between how I walk and my own political and philosophical views were never really considered until I read this book, and now I see my practice as a radical act, something that reveals how I choose to live on a wider scale. I will return to this book many times, I’m sure. Over the years, it may even become a favourite. I’ll be pondering Gros’s words for a while, writing them down in my notebook to come back to time and time again.

The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis (reread)

The Chronicles of Narnia was one of my favourite series as a child and this was one of my favourite books from within the series itself. I loved reading about the origins of Narnia, the exploration of the multiverse, and the haunting world of Queen Jadis. As a child, it was exciting to read this before moving on to The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, due to its explanation for how Aslan, The White Witch, and the streetlamp came about, as well as the wardrobe in which the four children later hide in. The spiritual message of integrity and principles, of kindness and compassion, in direct contrast with the greed, industrialisation, and colonialism of other worlds is strong, something I appreciate more as an adult than I did as a child. I still love this book with all my heart and I’m so glad I returned to it, if only for a short time. I know it won’t be the last.

The Watsons by Jane Austen

I am determined to read all of Austen’s works and finishing her uncompleted novels is my penultimate step to achieving this. The narrative was an interesting choice, for it was tonally different to her usual narration. The language, as well as the sentence structure, is simple, homely, and fluid. I find the familial dynamics to be more intricately studied in The Watsons than in some of her other works, and whilst the heroine of the novel is not entirely unique for Austen, she is an interesting character. This excerpt felt like a promise, one that was never granted. I would have loved to have seen where Austen took this next, yet she didn’t seem to know herself. The writing of this novel and its context within Austen’s life feels much more intimate and vulnerable or – at least – appears to be headed that way. Either way, I’m enamoured with The Watsons and what could have been. Like so many others, I’ll dream of an ending that will never come.

Sanditon

This was my least favourite out of the two. After reading The Watsons, Sanditon fell a little flat for me. Undoubtedly a satire, there were too many caricatures to feel like the people were real or worth investing in. Its context within Austen’s life has to be taken into account and whether she intended them to be taken seriously at all. Even so, despite the light-hearted fun, this story barely made an impression on me. It’s worth a read to gauge where Austen was creatively in her last months, as well as what was on her mind. There’s a lot about Sanditon that is new for her as an author, which promises a growth that never manifested, due to her early death. We can never truly know where she was headed next and Sanditon echoes that in its vast possibility. I still liked it well enough and I would return to it in the future, but, in its unfinished form, it’s hard to place it amongst the giant that is Austen’s repertoire.  

What I’ve Been Watching

I’ve hardly had the time to watch any films. Instead, I’ve been spending my time rewatching Life On Mars and Ashes to Ashes. The few films I watched this month were strong or simply enjoyable. As for Dancer in the Dark – the film for March – I started to watch it but it stopped halfway through and I couldn’t find it anywhere else. So, I’ll be buying the DVD soon to watch it in full.

Back in Action

This is a film that I would have been obsessed with as a child. It’s a standard action-packed, family-friendly spy film. It’s camp; it’s simple; it’s entertaining. I felt a little emotional seeing Diaz’s return to screen after her short retirement, especially knowing that she’d wanted roles like this as an older woman. Is it groundbreaking? No. Is it particularly emotional? No. Even so, I was entertained; I loved the premise; it was a little treat for child me, who would have loved this film. I think that’s enough of a reason to like it.

The Lord of the Rings trilogy (rewatch)

This accompanied my previous reread of The Lord of the Rings. As I only own the extended versions, my partner and I dedicated three days to watching them, over a time of which we helped ourselves to a succession of related food, such as porridge, camembert, vegetable stew, fish and chips, and strawberries and cream. I grew up with these films; they are deeply entrenched in my memory and my heart. This trilogy is incredibly beautiful, with luscious sets and natural shots. The score, costume design, and screenplays are equally beautiful. I strongly believe these films have aged as well as they have, visually speaking, due to the intricate care that went into the costumes and set, relying mostly on practical effects rather than CGI.

Personally, I believe you can only ever watch the extended version. Sure, they’re long films but altogether, they encapsulate the heart of the books, leaving the viewer feeling that they’ve received the essence of what Tolkien wished to convey. The films are able to express the one aspect of the book that is missing, utilising its visual effects to highlight the drudgery and horrors of war, paralleling techniques used in the World Wars themselves, and giving the films space to breathe amidst all the action. I cried multiple times during these films. Following the journey of the Fellowship, their growth and ensuing kinship, as well as the compassion and resilience of every character present is a glorious and emotional journey. The length of the films leaves a deep impression on you, as if you have undergone a journey yourself. I suppose, in some ways, you have. At the end of the trilogy, it feels as if you have grown with them and you are forever changed by what you have experienced. These films will always have a special place in my heart.

Unforgiven

I thought Unforgiven was excellent. The cinematography had to be one of the best parts of the film. It is visually strong, hosting an array of memorable and beautiful shots. I loved the exploration of justice and morality in the law and amongst criminals, as well as in vigilante justice. The crimes done unto women and to any vulnerable group made my stomach turn, as it was intended to, and the notion that the law does not equate to justice resonated on multiple levels, especially in the current climate. I would highly recommend this film to anyone!

Other Media

Television

Life on Mars (rewatch)

I’ve been dying to watch Life on Mars for a few months now. It’s been very heavily on my mind. This was one of my all-time favourite television shows growing up. I was so glad to revisit it and find myself enjoying it as much as I used to. There are many aspects that I still appreciate of this show – the nostalgia of the early ‘00s cinematography, the soundtrack, action sequences, and camaraderie, alongside the social commentaries that related to both the seventies and the present day. In particular, the mystery and suspense of the show is well done and leaves a lot to be theorised and enjoyed. This show, even now, is distinct. There isn’t anything like it.

Ashes to Ashes (rewatch)

Ashes to Ashes is another of my all-time favourite shows. To return to it for the first time in years was a delight that I can’t even begin to describe. In nearly every way, it is stronger than Life on Mars and really starts to find its rhythm by the second season. Even now, I struggle to think of a television show that that ends so succinctly and alters your brain chemistry at the same time. The music, the fashion, the acting… It’s iconic. Its high-energy beginning, which follows through to a muted, tense, and sombre season finale is wonderful and showcases Alex’s journey, as well as why she’s there. I wish I could say more but anything I’d say would be a spoiler. I love this show! That’s all you need to know. I want everyone to watch it. For those who are interested, Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes are not separate; they are all the same story. You can’t watch one without the other. Please give it a go!

Video Games

Sea of Stars

Even though I put Sea of Stars on my favourites last year, I hadn’t yet finished it. This month, I finally completed the game, meaning that I now get to give a fully fleshed review. I wish more people were talking about Sea of Stars or playing it. It’s distinctive, fun, and heartwarming. Visually, it is downright stunning. The soundtrack is memorable and I’ve even listened to certain pieces on Spotify, which is unusual for me. This is a thoroughly engaging RPG with a fantastic set of characters, imaginative worldbuilding, and a nice balance between plot, side quests, and grinding. It is brimming with nostalgic references, twists and turns, and delightful surprises. I cried at least twice while the credits were rolling. I really do love this game.

My Favourites

My favourite books this month were:

• A History of Tom Jones, a Foundling.
• Cold Enough for Snow.
• A Philosophy of Walking.

My favourite films this month were:

• Back In Action.
• Unforgiven.

I found this month more difficult in terms of watching films because I was so absorbed with Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes. It also didn’t help that Dancer in the Dark was hard to find. But we move! I’ve slowly been curating seasonal lists for books and films, which inspires me to watch some old favourites, as well as try new ones, so I’m really excited to go through these recommendations at some point. 

As for reading, I thought this would be a slow reading month, as Tom Jones took up two weeks on its own. However, I picked up in the last half, enjoying a selection of essays, memoirs, novellas, and non-fiction. I’m currently reading Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? and then I’m back to finishing The Iliad. I’m still enjoying the reading challenge; I feel like it’s really pushing me out of my comfort zone. April promises to be a good month! The texts and films I’ll be reading and watching are: Oedipus Rex, Peter Pan, and Fifth Element. I’m so excited for all of them! Til next month!